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What
Is Etiquette?
By definition etiquette is "conventional requirements as
to proper social behavior." In our culture today, many of
the 'proper social behaviors' are changing; however,
observing dating etiquette is the polite thing to do,
especially on a first date when you do not know the person's
particular stand on 'proper social behavior.' In dating
relationships, it is still considered polite for men to open
doors for women, but going 'dutch' or taking turns paying
for meals is more widely accepted. Both men and women now
take turns making plans for the dates, and both are expected
to contribute to the conversation, without one taking the
lead. Once you know a person better, you can adapt the rules
of dating etiquette to what works best for you and makes you
the most comfortable together.
Dating Choices
Everyday we make choices. Every choice we make affects the
lives of others. Our choices may seem simple, but the
reality is each choice we make has positive or negative
consequences. In dating relationships we make choices on a
regular basis. Consider the following choices that everyone
who dates must make.
1) To treat the people we date with respect or not.
2) To be kind rather than mean.
3) To take advantage of the people you date or to refuse to
hurt the people you date.
4) To be happy or sad on your dates.
5) To lift others up or tear them down.
6) To act like a gentleman or not.
7) To act like a lady or not.
8) To send value into the hearts of your dates or not.
9) To abuse someone (emotionally, verbally, physically,
sexually) or not.
These are choices we make all of the time. They may seem
simple, when in reality these choices affect how close we
get to others. They also affect how intimate we become in
our relationships.
Sharing Your Feelings
Not everyone is comfortable sharing their feelings with
their dating partner; it's a tendency that can be traced
back to childhood. If your girlfriend or boyfriend's family
were not big 'sharers' of their feelings, chances are your
date won't be comfortable sharing his or her feelings with
you. Regardless of your date's family history, the best way
to begin the process is with baby steps. Start by sharing
each other's day. Talk about your plans and activities. Then
transition into your feelings about those activities -- a
less threatening thing to share -- before moving into your
more innermost feelings and thoughts. Over time, the two of
you may feel comfortable sharing thoughts about each other
-- qualities you like, elements of your relationship you
like or want to change, and how much you love each other.
Guide to Dating: Desperation
Thinking online dating is desperate is so 1990's. Now that
we are officially in the 21st centure, no online dater would
consider themselves pathetic. In today's fast-paced world,
we simply do not have time to meet new people. The
constraints of work and our regular social lives leave us
with little time to pursue activities to meet new people.
Also, many of us have explored the limits of our social
network. Online dating provides a quick and efficient way of
expanding your social circle. It allows you to quickly meet
new people who share your interests without having to go to
extraordinary lengths. |